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For Valentine's Day: Bad Ideas

  1. Anything recycled. The earth is small, we've just got one planet, reduce/reuse/etc. These are all thoughts you should avoid thinking. Goals: shiny, new, useless, big. Think a stuffed animal large enough to require renting storage.
  2. Pink fluffy handcuffs. Mixing and matching your themes. You've got to commit to one cause: red lacy underwear or pink fluffy heart-shaped things.
  3. A naked photo of yourself to his/her work/parents' email account.
  4. Anything that says, "you're fat". Now is not the time for low carb chocolate.
  5. The contents of your kitchen cabinets: ramen soup with a spaghetti package, for example.
  6. Any book on the theme He's just not that into you/Getting over it/Getting over yourself
  7. Lingerie or underwear in XL. On the same tack: underwear that would only fit a pre-teen.
  8. Anything written in old English.
  9. News that you are actually gay/wanted/really interested in joining a cult.
  10. A threesome. Unless you're really sure he/she wants it. Or you're all blindingly drunk.
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