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It's all about...You

While you could spend your days trying to figure out what the other person wants, how about this option: figure out what you want, go for it, and spend the rest of your time doing things that are interesting and exciting (to you).

So much writing is devoted to helping you figure out whether your crush really does like you, and if so, or if not, what you can do about it. But here's a new tactic: figure out what you can do to make yourself totally crush-worthy. Because, of course, you're interesting and interested. Right?

Right? If not, it's something you can change. Lord knows, I've let myself crush badly enough that my top priority became getting the guy*. As a result, I lost track of the things I liked doing and cared about. How did I snap out of it: by realising that doing things made me interesting, attractive and exciting. Think about the people you've fallen for. It's not just dreamy eyes and long legs that makes them appealing (please say no). It's their commitment to a political cause, or sense of humour, or the way they rock out at parties, or even their fastidious commitment to the nitty gritty rules of beer pong. Individual quirks (who am I to judge?) is what makes people unique, fun and memorable. Oh, and totally fall-in-loveable. The other virtue: doing things gets you out of the house, hanging out with other people, and gives you something to talk about. Who hasn't finally gotten to chat up the guy they've been eying for the last month and be at a complete loss of words? The cure: having something you're interested in/excited about (beer pong championships, the anti-war movement, the new The Strokes album ? again, who am I to judge?).

Because the only thing you can (or should even try to) control is your own actions, figure out what it is you like and do it. It may help you win your crush, or find a new one, but at least you won't spend your time waiting by the telephone.

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